Grace

I'm exhausted from searching for my mother.
All night she evaded me.
I waited for her at home and cried when she didn't come.
I tried phoning her and got someone else.
I walked through the house.
I sat on the floor in her empty bedroom and cried.
I cried all night.
Now I'm tired and sad.
It's been 4 years since she died,
yet I still look for her in my dreams.
I dream that I'm looking for her and can't find her.
I wake up with this heavy sadness,
this ache to see her just one more time.